Still life
by Peter Branson
Same bed and yet they’re poles apart. She’s plagued
by ghosts, to all intents, while he’s moved on.
A voice she feels she knows but can’t quite place:
“What are you doing here, my sweet?” it sighs,
weird stuff that won’t parse out.. While gardening
late afternoon, she reads a shadow in
the sitting room. Dives in, sure Dave’s come home,
but no one’s there. Haunted, riddled with guilt,
she’s on her own,. She sees the small black dog
inside the scullery, hears studded boots
clatter worn quarry floor. Alone sometimes,
feels arms steal tenderly about her thighs.
Hates people asking how she’s been. Three years,
no words to justify that tiny grave.
Out of the blue: “Gross abnormalities.
There’s nothing we can do. No quality
of life at best.” A Catholic nurse begs her
to pause and think:. “You’re sure it’s what you want,”
hand on her heart, womb in a vice-like grip.
She’s cursed with visions, frequents holy sites
to stem her barrenness: St Winifred’s Well,
immersion, head to toe; ruined abbey where
new miracles are claimed; mediums; psychics;
plain chant on tap. Pie in the sky? “Don’t ask!”
“Only yourself to blame,” her mother’s voice;.
“Ten years too late.” A child again, she hides
her face; night hikes to tire herself so she
might sleep; anti depressants, counseling.
The hills about are flecked with sheep. Above
the mantel in the oldest part, they’ve fixed
a huge ram’s horn, so apt somehow: she’s hexed
herself where folk once dwelt at one with beasts.
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Peter Branson lives in Rode Heath, a village in South Cheshire, UK. A former English teacher and lecturer, he now organizes writing workshops. Until recently he was “Writer-in-residence” for the “All Write” project run by Stoke-on-Trent Central Libraries.
His poems have appeared in Acumen, Ambit, Envoi, Magma, The London Magazine, Iota, 14, Fire, The Frogmore Papers, The Interpreter’s House, Poetry Nottingham, Pulsar, Red Ink, The Recusant, South, Writing Magazine, The New Writer, Crannog, The Raintown Review, The Able Muse, and Other Poetry.
His first poetry collection, “The Accidental Tourist,” was published in May 2008. His second collection, “Red Shift,” published at the beginning of 2010 by Caparison Press is available to download at The Recusant. His third collection has been accepted for publication by Salmon Press, EIRE. Silkworms Ink issued his chapbook, “Vol X: Selected Poems.”
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© 2010 Peter Branson
